We just spent 3 weeks on the Murray River and HATED it!

We just spent three weeks travelling around the Murray River in Australia, and hated every minute…

…OK, we didn’t hate it ALL. But there were definitely some hurdles we weren’t expecting. And by hurdles, I mean an absolute logistical nightmare that had me questioning every life decision I’d ever made.

Let me explain.

Originally, we’d planned to hire a caravan and spend three weeks travelling between caravan parks and off-grid camping spots along the Murray. Looking back, I’m convinced having a caravan would have made a HUGE difference.

Unfortunately, that plan fell through.

Instead, we ended up road-tripping around in a tent.

With six kids.

For three weeks.

What could possibly go wrong? 😂

The Red Flags We Chose to Ignore 🚩

The morning we were due to leave should have been a pretty good indication of how the following three weeks would unfold.

Did I listen to my gut? Of course not.

Did I willingly ignore the very obvious warning signs that the universe was practically throwing at us?

I 100% did.

Our daughter Millie (7) woke up sick as anything with a tummy bug. After being sick, she assured us she felt much better, and we made the decision to continue.

Maybe it was just a one-off?

IT. WAS. NOT. A. ONE-OFF.

And believe it or not, that wasn’t even our first red flag.

A few weeks earlier, we’d discovered that one of our boys had his Holy Communion scheduled for the exact day we were supposed to leave. Thankfully, we were travelling with Chris’ parents, who offered to take the older boys ahead while we caught up the following day.

Problem solved, right?

Wrong.

Two weeks before departure, my in-laws returned home from a weekend away to discover acid all over the road.

The battery in their five-star caravan had EXPLODED.

Literally exploded.

Thankfully, there was no internal damage, and the repairers gave them the all-clear to continue with the trip.

And then came the final blow.

Our caravan hire was cancelled because the booking host had accidentally double-booked it.

Fantastic.

But did any of this stop me?

Absolutely not.

I continued telling myself, “It’s all part of the experience!”

More than once.

Note to self: Never listen to the lies I tell myself again.

Swan Hill: The Beginning of the End

Our first stop was BIG4 Riverside Swan Hill.

Surprisingly, we arrived without any dramas. Millie was still experiencing the occasional wave of nausea, but she was soldiering on like an absolute champion.

Setting up the tent was relatively straightforward, although we’d quickly discover that booking a caravan site for a tent wasn’t always ideal.

Concrete slabs, anyone?

Nevertheless, we got everything sorted, settled in and were genuinely excited for the adventures ahead.

The following day, we visited the Swan Hill Pioneer Settlement.

And honestly? It was fantastic.

The park was quiet, we managed to explore the entire settlement, and we even enjoyed a ride on the paddlesteamer.

For a brief moment, everything was going beautifully.

Until Millie got sick again.

This time, it wasn’t just nausea. She had body aches, chills and a raging fever.

Thankfully, our caravan park was right next door, so we could get her back to camp quickly.

That afternoon was awful. She was miserable, couldn’t explain exactly what was wrong, and I was starting to seriously question whether we should just pack up and go home.

We’d barely started!

I will say, Riley (14) managed to catch his very own Murray cod that afternoon.

And thank God he did, because that little win was probably the only thing stopping me from calling the entire trip off. 😂

Mildura: Our First Hospital Visit

We survived the night, woke up relatively cheerful and packed up camp.

Ugh. Packing up camp.

There’s something nobody tells you about road-tripping with a tent: you spend half your holiday putting the bloody thing up and taking it back down again.

Anyway, onwards to All Seasons Holiday Park in Mildura, where we were staying for five nights.

Another caravan park.

Another concrete slab.

And a toilet code system I STILL haven’t wrapped my head around.

One of the biggest things I learnt on this holiday was just how many caravan parks aren’t particularly equipped for tents.

It genuinely blew my mind.

After arriving, we managed to enjoy a swim before Millie went downhill again.

Hard and fast.

By the following morning, she was significantly worse, and we found ourselves at Mildura Hospital by 9 am.

She was displaying all the classic warning signs of appendicitis, which was terrifying.

Thankfully, it wasn’t appendicitis.

It was swollen lymph nodes caused by influenza.

She had the FLU. On day THREE. 😭

I was ready to go home.

And I became even more convinced when Ollie (10) and Zach (3) woke up with the exact same symptoms the following morning.

Wonderful.

Three sick kids, a tent and weeks of travelling still ahead of us.

Living the dream.

We decided to take a couple of very quiet days before continuing our journey, which thankfully helped everyone recover enough to keep moving.

Mungo National Park: Incredible Scenery, Questionable Life Choices

Mungo, Mungo, Mungo.

Where do I even begin?

First, let me say that Mungo National Park is absolutely incredible.

We paid for a guided tour and walked on the Walls of China, explored the one-way scenic drive, spotted emus wandering around with their babies, rode down sandhills and experienced some of the most unique landscapes Australia has to offer.

Even as Australians, we were blown away.

It was genuinely one of the highlights of the entire trip.

But camping there?

That’s another story.

We arrived to a glorious 35-degree day.

And by glorious, I mean the kind of relentless, scorching heat that makes you question why human beings willingly sleep outdoors.

Setting up a tent in that heat was miserable.

Absolutely miserable.

But eventually, camp was set up, we’d survived the afternoon and we were ready for a good night’s sleep.

Except our inflatable bed had other ideas.

It deflated.

In the middle of the night.

So naturally, we had next to no sleep, and I woke up in the foulest mood imaginable.

By this point, I’d contemplated going home approximately 80 times.

On the bright side, the drop toilets at Mungo were actually clean!

Which, as it turns out, was something I should have appreciated a LOT more.

Because our next off-grid campsite was about to break me.

Yarrawonga: The Five Days That Broke Bowden8

After Mungo, we spent one night in a cabin at Moulamein.

A CABIN.

WITH ACTUAL BEDS.

Honestly, it was the best night’s sleep of my entire life.

I could have cried.

Unfortunately, our brief taste of civilisation came to an end, and we continued to Yarrawonga for five nights at Forges Beach.

Off-grid.

No power.

And drop toilets that looked like they’d risen directly from the depths of hell.

I’m not exaggerating when I say they were absolutely REVOLTING.

I don’t even have the words to describe them.

And trust me, I have a lot of words.

The kids were initially excited. Mason, Ollie, Millie and Zach were looking forward to swimming, while Riley had been counting down the days until he could spend five glorious days fishing.

Except there was one small problem.

NO FISHING.

None.

Nada.

This particular stretch of the Murray was closed to Murray cod fishing until the end of November.

Devastating.

We’d planned THREE WEEKS around the Murray River, largely because Riley absolutely loves fishing.

In the entire three weeks, he managed to fish just six times.

And caught one fish.

ONE.

I felt so awful for him because he’d genuinely been looking forward to this trip for months.

Now, the whole reason we’d chosen Yarrawonga was our annual friends and family catch-up.

And that part was fantastic.

There were around 40 of us camping together.

Forty!

Campfires, food, laughter, kids running around everywhere, absolute mayhem.

It was wonderful catching up with everyone.

But the conditions?

I was DONE.

Every single day, I searched for a caravan park or cabin we could escape to.

I didn’t even care if we still had to use the tent. I just wanted POWER and a decent toilet.

Unfortunately, it was a long weekend, and absolutely everything was booked out.

So there we stayed.

In our tent.

With our disgusting toilets.

And our rapidly disappearing sanity.

And just when I thought things couldn’t possibly get worse…

Angus, our seven-month-old baby, got the flu.

Of course he did.

At this point, our situation consisted of:

• A sick baby.

• A miserable teenager who couldn’t fish.

• Inflatable beds that refused to stay inflated.

• Solar panels that couldn’t keep up with the needs of eight people.

• A fridge that overheated, resulting in ALL our food being thrown away.

• Warm beer. A tragedy in itself.

• Absolutely FREEZING nights with no proper heating.

• And toilets I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy.

It was bloody horrible.

Look, I’m sure the off-grid camping enthusiasts are reading this and absolutely judging me.

And that’s fine. 😂

But I’ve learnt something very important about myself.

I am NOT an off-grid camping person.

Neither, apparently, is the rest of Bowden8.

I like electricity.

I like proper toilets.

I like having somewhere to shower without fearing for my life.

And I particularly enjoy sleeping on a bed that still contains air when I wake up.

Is that really too much to ask?

The day we finally packed up and left Forges Beach was genuinely one of the happiest days of my life.

Never.

Again.

Moama: Redemption… Almost

Our final stop was Maidens Inn in Moama.

And OH. MY. GOD.

What an unbelievable difference.

A beautiful caravan park, plenty of activities for the kids, swimming, fishing (THANK GOD), and so many wonderful things to explore around Echuca.

We had an absolute ball.

Our days were filled with adventures, from checking out the Melbourne paddlesteamer to visiting the big lolly shop and exploring the Shamrock Hotel.

The kids were happy.

We were happy.

We had proper amenities.

Life was good again.

And honestly, Echuca had some pretty fantastic little shops.

I even managed to find penis-shaped pasta in the lolly shop, which I naturally purchased for the sole purpose of pranking my in-laws when we got home.

Because if there’s one thing that can redeem three weeks of camping hell, it’s the opportunity to serve your unsuspecting family a bowl of penis pasta.

It’s the little things in life. 😂

For the first time in what felt like forever, I was actually enjoying our holiday.

We were finally going to finish on a high!

Except, naturally, the universe had one final surprise waiting for me.

On our very last day, I woke up sick.

It was MY turn with the flu.

And my GOD, it absolutely knocked me around.

I couldn’t wait to get home, crawl into my own bed and forget the previous three weeks had ever happened.

Which was probably a good thing, because my lovely parting gift from the holiday was pneumonia.

PNEUMONIA.

You genuinely couldn’t make this stuff up. 😭😂

So, Would We Do It Again?

In short?

Absolutely… NOT.

But despite the chaos, the sickness, the deflating beds, the disgusting toilets and the approximately 400 times I threatened to go home, we did make some incredible memories.

We explored beautiful parts of Australia, experienced landscapes we’d never seen before, spent time with family and friends, and learnt a LOT about the type of holidays that suit our family.

And honestly, I’m glad we went.

Would I change things?

Absolutely.

Would I ever attempt three weeks of off-grid tent camping with six children again?

Not a bloody chance.

Our Murray River Trip by the Numbers

Places stayed: 6

States visited: 2

Children: 6

Yahtzee games played: 20+

Times I wanted to go home: Too many to count

Memories made: Countless

Would we do it again? Absolutely not. 😂

What We’d Do Differently

Three very important lessons came out of this adventure:

1. Never use a tent again. A caravan or cabin is absolutely the way forward for our family.

2. Stick to caravan parks. Power, clean amenities and facilities for the kids are non-negotiable.

3. Listen to my gut when it comes to sickness. Sometimes pushing through isn’t worth it.

So, there you have it.

Three weeks, six kids, one very questionable camping adventure and enough stories to last us a lifetime.

Our dream of travelling Australia hasn’t disappeared. We’ve just realised we’d much rather experience it with a little more comfort and a LOT less suffering.

As for off-grid camping?

You can keep it.

Love, Bowden8. ❤️